Confessions of a Fed Up Christmas Hostess - Poem

Alas, Christmas day at last starts.

It should gift me happiness and hope,

but soon, guests will gobble the food then give off farts.

I sometimes wonder why I even cope.

 

These ungrateful guests whine and whinge.

They think my wine is not divine and my carols make them cringe.

Once stuffed with food, they will all soundly snooze,

because in that rich figgy pudding, I bumped up the booze.

 

I sincerely pray that they all slay the beast.

Once the Creature is downed, they will be snoring.

I can chirp along to cheesy carols after tonight’s feast,

as sleeping guests cannot belittle my carol choice as boring.

   

Christmas Calamity and Charity - Rispetto

Christmas can be a heavenly time of year.

All this food, fairy lights, family, fun and frost,

but not everyone will celebrate with cheer,

as some people may feel lonely and lost.

 

I cherish carols, crackers and cinnamon.

I am a fan, but some must suffer 'oh man'!

This winter I could be living lusciously,

but I should be giving generously.  

Christmas Dinner Demands – Shakespearian Sonnet

The time has come for us guests to dine

Hark humble host, serve us warm mulled wine

No, not the mulled wine with alcohol

I find this hasty mishap oh so droll

 

Never mind, give us orange juice without the rind

How crude the Christmas food, how unrefined

Now bring us big dishes of Brussels sprouts

But do not stuff us short and stout

 

As a veggie I’ll not taste the vapid veal you baste

Now if you were not in a hellbent haste

Please roast me a nourishing and nice nut loaf

It is your own issue if I behave like an oaf

 

To survive this night of grog and eggnog

I long to jog in the fresh fog with my darling dog