Christmas Dinner Demands – Shakespearian Sonnet

The time has come for us guests to dine

Hark humble host, serve us warm mulled wine

No, not the mulled wine with alcohol

I find this hasty mishap oh so droll

 

Never mind, give us orange juice without the rind

How crude the Christmas food, how unrefined

Now bring us big dishes of Brussels sprouts

But do not stuff us short and stout

 

As a veggie I’ll not taste the vapid veal you baste

Now if you were not in a hellbent haste

Please roast me a nourishing and nice nut loaf

It is your own issue if I behave like an oaf

 

To survive this night of grog and eggnog

I long to jog in the fresh fog with my darling dog